I was intimidated modeling for this shoot. Ahna and Mariah are such fantastic artists. I am not worthy. Not to mention the fact that they’re in their prime, and I’m well past my prime.
I used to do figure or art nude modeling when I was young and a professional ballet dancer. My body is nothing like it was then and I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with my aging body. But returning to modeling has been good for me. I can see myself at a distance, more objectively. I would have no issues photographing someone who looks like me. So as much as I don’t like the way my body looks, I have developed a greater sense of compassion for myself. I can appreciate the beauty, maybe not in an idealized way, but a beauty in my humanity.
I’m doing a project called the Vulnerability Project. It’s for people who would be willing to face their fears or issues around their body by doing a nude shoot and would be open to sharing their experience of the process. The goal is to document the struggles and search for self-acceptance of anyone that wants to be vulnerable enough to pose nude for a photoshoot. People of any age, any body type, any gender, any sexual orientation, any ability, are welcome to participate.
Mariah and I actually shaved our heads before the shoot. On the morning of the shoot, Mariah asked Ahna if she would shave her head. It didn’t feel right for me to have hair when these two were bald, so I needed to join in and get Ahna to play barber for me too. Videos of the event are below.